What I learned when I smashed my dad’s car

What I learned when I smashed my dad’s car was something that I would later understand about my Father Who Is In Heaven. Here’s the story.

When I was about 13 or so my dad asked me to take the truck up to the garden and get some tators out of the cellar. I got in that old tan GMC, 3 speed on the column hand-me-down, put it in reverse and began to back out and – WHAM! I looked back. What I saw was my dads ’77 Chevy Malibu staggering back and forth like a beaten drunk.

Matter-of-factly, with deliberate confidence, I pulled the truck back up. Turned it off. Walked inside. Said, “Hey dad, you need to come out here and look at your car.” My dad led the way. I followed. We stopped beside the car. Observed in mournful silence. The whole left rear fender was smashed in. I said to my dad, “You should get that fixed. Sorry about that.” My dad grinned and said, better get up to the garden and get them tators. “Yep”-  I sez. End of story. I never heard another word from my dad. He didn’t hit me, or cuss me out, or call me names like: “you idiot,” “you moron”, “you stupid boy” – or anything like that. He didn’t spend the next several weeks or months reminding me of how mindless I was to not look behind before I backed up. None of that. Just lesson learned. Move on. Tomorrow is another day. One more thing to do: repair the fender at a body shop that was owned by a friend of my dads.

Now before all you militant disciplinarians out there blow a head-gasket, stick it in neutral and sit for a spell.

I’m for learning financial lessons by paying restitution. I’m for addressing repeated offenses with corresponding increasing severity. I’m for teaching our children to think before they act, respect property, and honor your parents. But I’m also for teaching our children and adults, something a little more about the character of our God.

When you fail, God does not hit, slap, or call you names. When you act before you think, and something gets broken, God does not respond with condescending self-congratulatory smirk: “When I was your age I never would have done something so stupid. And if I did, my pa would have worn me out with a strap.”

So consider the gospel. God sent his son and said, “I’ll pay for your transgressions as if my own son did them himself. I’ll pay for the repair and the damage that you did to my name, my property, my glory – and I alone will make full restitution for what you have broken.”

And consider the implications of the gospel. God does not hold against you and remind you often of your fender-benders. He does not keep ridiculing or shaming you for what you did in the past, whether that was yesterday or ten years ago. God does not keep a tight-fisted mind, holding on to all of your reasons that sent his son to the cross. God does not accuse you of ruining his day. God does not withhold his love just because you hurt him and his fame. God does not feel contempt for you, seek revenge against you, or sponsor pity-parties for himself in your presence. God does not lock you up in an emotional tip-toe dance with him so that every time you come into his presence he loves to see you squirm with fear. God does not make fun of you in front of his friends. God does not compare you down to his other son, saying, “Why can’t you be more like Jesus – he never would do something so dumb.” God does not feel threatened in his own identity just because his children fail. God does not storm off with disgust when you act like you were born yesterday.

Here is what God did and continues to do for me through his Son:

“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:10-14)

Thanks dad for showing me something about my heavenly Father! And thanks for not getting too bent out of shape over what is certainly by now, a ton of compressed, melted-down cheap steel divided up somewhere into a thousand paper clips.

Husband, Wife, does it annoy you to consider . . .

. . . that you will have complete admiration and love for the other in heaven? You see, if you are both in Christ and will be with Christ when you die, then this means that all that hinders love will be gone and there will be nothing but joy and delight in the other as with all other saints. Does it annoy you to think that all the contempt, anger, revenge, distrust, repudiation that you presently feel in your heart for your spouse, that when in heaven – POOF?! Gone. For not only will all the sin be obliterated in your spouse that stirred up your disdain for your spouse, but also all the sin that you justified in your heart to hold a grudge will finally be conquered by the lovely Savior. I ask again: Does it irritate you to think that in heaven you will have sweet and delightful, open and honest, generous and courteous, pleasurable and satisfying, enjoyable and stimulating, affectionate and exhilarating conversation and fellowship with your spouse?

If it annoys you to be so overwhelmed with the love of God that your relationship with your spouse will be as perfect as the Father’s is with his Son, then what does this say about your need to know more of the love of God? I fear that too many husbands and wives who say they are going to heaven but can’t fathom enjoying each other there, have not truly contemplated what heaven is and their own present need for change.

Recently I reflected again on Jonathan Edwards’ sermon that I’ve read several times over the years, “Heaven, A World of Charity or Love.” Hands down, it’s the most nourishing sermon on heaven’s love that I have ever read. Here are a few quotes from the sermon, which is found in his book, Charity And Its Fruits (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1852):

“Here I remark that the God of love himself dwells in heaven. Heaven is the palace or presence-chamber of the high and holy One, whose name is love, and who is both the cause and source of all holy love . . . and this renders heaven a world of love; for God is the fountain of love, as the sun is the fountain of light.” (pg. 326)

After taking us on a patient stroll of heaven’s love – God himself in Christ, Edwards then turns to the saints and shows us what divine love we will have for the other, reciprocated with as much delight as having been loved by the other and by the God of love himself:

“The saints shall know that God loves them, and they shall never doubt the greatness of his love, and they shall have no doubt of the love of all their fellow-inhabitants in heaven. And they shall not be jealous of the constancy of each other’s love. They shall have no suspicion that the love which others have felt toward them is abated, or in any degree withdrawn from themselves for the sake of some rival, or by reason of anything in themselves which they suspect is disagreeable to others, or through any inconstancy in their own hearts or the hearts of others. Nor will they be in the least afraid that the love of any will ever be abated toward them. There shall be no such thing as inconstancy and unfaithfulness in heaven, to molest and disturb the friendship of that blessed society. The saints shall have no fear that the love of God will ever abate towards them, or that Christ will not continue always to love them with unabated tenderness and affection. And they shall have no jealousy one of another, but shall know that by divine grace the mutual love that exists between them shall never decay nor change.” (pg. 340-41)

“There shall be no wall of separation in heaven to keep the saints asunder, nor shall they be hindered from the full and complete enjoyment of each other’s love by distance of habitation; for they shall all be together, as one family, in their heavenly Father’s house. Nor shall there be any want of full acquaintance to hinder the greatest possible intimacy; and much less shall there be any misunderstanding between them, or misinterpreting things that are said or done by each other. There shall be no disunion through difference of temper, or manners, or circumstances, or from various opinions, or interests, or feelings, or alliances; but all shall be united in the same interests, and all alike allied to the same Savior, and all employed in the same business, serving and glorifying the same God.”   (pg. 343)

When I am annoyed in loving those that I will spend an eternity with in heaven, I meditate on heaven’s love and then set my heart in line with what is to come. O how I long to experience this kind of love for all the saints, one of which is my wife. I hope you too desire to know the love of God in full measure.

“A rudder is useful only if you’re moving”

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That’s what world-class professor Peter Gentry said to me as we ate lunch together in the Southern Baptist Seminary cafeteria, Louisville, KY. To paraphrase his further words of encouragement, “You will not know God’s will unless you get going – and when you get going he’ll guide you. But you must get going first. Normally, you can’t expect the Lord to lead you while you’re just sitting there.”

With the blessing of my church family that I shepherd, we’re visiting the campus to look into the D.Ed degree and what the Lord will do in furthering the gospel as I pastor Grace Community Church, in Yorkville, IL. We felt right at home as we listened and toured this historic school that “is serious about the gospel,” a theme mentioned often at SBTS. We’re very thankful for this opportunity and now will pray and talk, and pray and talk some more about the future. Albert Mohler, president of Southern Seminary, has staffed an off-the-chart faculty to equip students in spreading the gospel around the world in every arena of life.

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Keep us in your prayers. “Lord, we’re on the move. Guide our hearts.”